Resolutions and Review of Resolutions from Last Month

I’m a bit late with my resolutions post for this month, but here it is….

Resolutions from Last Month

Exercise – Swimming

This did not go well. I did definitely swim more than I otherwise would have, but not nearly enough. Swimming just takes so much time and I never feel like I get as good a workout as when I’m running or on the cross trainer. Also, with my new skincare regime I was reluctant to start mixing things up by getting my face covered in chlorine a few days a week. I am going to keep trying to swim more…

Food – Eating Beans

I did well on this one – I have beans almost every day for lunch and I really like them. (To me) They taste good and keep me full. I’m definitely going to keep having them for lunch

Other – ACT

This was good, I guess. “I guess” because I don’t think I’m far enough into the ACT book to see any big changes yet, but I am certainly getting through the book which is good. I’m going to keep working on this one.

Resolutions for This Month

Exercise – Heart Rate Monitor

I have my heart rate monitor, so for this month my resolution is going to be to complete my target exercise program on that every week.

Food – Eat Mindfully

I want to try to eat mindfully. I’m getting stuck in a really terrible rut with my food – I keep binging and eating crappy food, even though I know it’s not good for me, that it doesn’t make me feel good, and that I don’t even particularly enjoy it when I’m eating it. To me, mindfully is going to mean focusing on my eating – the tastes and textures of my food. It’s also going to mean no eating and snacking while I’m doing other things. If I want a snack, fine, but I’m not going to eat it while I’m on my computer or reading.

Other – Pull in Tummy When Standing

I posted on this earlier. This is both a vanity thing and I’ve also been told I should tuck my tummy in when I’m standing to support my back. My best friend is also trying to do this – so we’re going to be keeping an eye out for each other on this front

I’ve realized that I’m getting bad at some of my previous resolutions – I’m flossing my teeth less and taking my vitamins less. So, to that end, every week I’m going to pick a resolution that I liked and “bring it back” ie make sure I do that thing for one week. I am also going to be checking in on my resolutions weekly, to try to help keep myself motivated, and to update everyone on which resolution I’m “bringing back”. Haven’t decided which day I’m going to do that on, but probably sometime over the weekend.

This week I’m “bringing back” taking my vitamins every day.

Things I love

I decided I wanted to do a post on ten of my favourite things (in no particular order, and by no means a complete list), with (some) pictures!

1. My family: my mum, dad, sister, brother, grandmother

2. My gorgeous boyfriend

3. My dogs

(The two above are of my wonderful puppy. (He's really not a puppy any more). He's 11 (almost 11 and a half) and he's a border collie).

(This is a silly picture of our other dog, which is appropriate given what a ridiculous creature she is! She's almost 11, but still acts like a puppy and everyone thinks she's one! She's also a border collie. Our two dogs are cousins!)

4. Nature/The Outdoors/Flowers!

I mentioned this earlier, but when I was younger I loved gardening. I recently got back into taking pictures so I have lots of flowers (they're easy to photograph)!

(These are from a set of gardens near my home)

(Lots of pictures of flowers!)

5. College, and my particular University! We have such an awesome environment here, and so many people work to make that possible. (There is someone in particular whose made such a difference to me. He works in our "academic support center", which holds a bunch of seminars on various seminars on procrastination, better note taking, exam prep etc. In the first seminar I went to, he talked a little about peoples emotions blocking their ability to work, which really run a bell with me because I did used to get really upset and feel useless if I didn't get a good grade on it. He was the person that recommended ACT to me to deal with that issue, and that's been one of the things thats changed my life).

6. The gym! And a supermarket near school that has tonnes of organic, natural produce. (Both the gym and the supermarket help me on my journey to become happier and healthier).

7. Certain parts of me! I've always hated my legs, but after my recent trips to the gym they're actually looking ok!

8. Thunder and lightning and storms and rain.

(not my picture - from free-extras.com!)

9. Autumn (my favourite season. I don't like the summer so much - it's too hot for me! We also have really really gorgeous autumns here in New England)

10. My phone. It's bad, but I couldn't live without it!

(picture from oriongadgets.com)

"Hot House Flower and the Nine Plants of Desire"

Since I've been done with classes, I've been able to read fiction books! I've read two so far, the second of which is called "Hot House Flower and the Nine Plants of Desire" by Margot Berwin. It's a weird title, and a weird book, but it was also really good and I really enjoyed it. It centers around one woman's post-divorce life-revelations through plants. It's a little hippy/new agey in that some of the characters in the book believe in "plant magic" and other things like that, but the protagonist does question it, which I liked. The book had some parts which really resonated with me, and in some ways it was "preaching" acceptance of the world around us, looking for the good in the world and practicing mindfulness (which are things I'm working on).

Alison at Life in a Pink Fibro has something each week called "Rewind" where people post links to their old posts (it's awesome, you should all do it!). Anyway, through that I found this post (Finding the Mindfulness in the Meaningful) which I really enjoyed. It also talks about mindfulness. Anyway, this post pretty much doesn't make sense, but the summary is that the book and the post have encouraged me to re-start trying to achieve a greater state of mindfulness in my life (mindfulness is also part of ACT). I'll let you know how it goes!

EDIT: I've been looking for resources on the internet, and I've found two sites that I like...http://www.dailygood.org/more.php?n=4595 and http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/2011/05/9-ways-to-a-more-mindful-workday/. In addition to these particular articles, they both have many more articles on mindfulness. I think I'm also going to get a book called Excuse Me, College Is Now: How to be a Success in School and Life, which, as the title suggests, is a book for college students about the challenges and difficulties they face. Even though I have been doing much better with college stress etc recently, I'm always interested in reading more about self-improvement type things!

Hmmm...

I'm still not feeling great, but...the good thing is that I know what's causing it. Before the beginning of this year (when I had my little epiphany about being able to change my life if I want to) I don't think I would have known the cause. Or at least I would have found it harder to accept the cause and the fact that this is just a temporary state of mind that will fade over the next month. When you know what's causing something (housing issues, exam stress, upset about the end of the school year), and you know that those things are going to pass it makes it a lot easier to deal with what's going on. (This is also partly something that ACT has taught me, thoughts are just thoughts, they don't (necessarily) mean anything and they will pass).

I've had an interesting few days with the whole food/losing 5 lbs thing. I've realised that I do actually have a lot more willpower than I thought I did and that I can say no to food. Whenever I wanted to eat something that's not good for me I ask myself how I'll feel about having eaten it in half an hour. Sometimes (a small piece of cake at dinner) I decide it's worth it it, other times (snacking on crisps) I decide it's not. Fingers crossed that this mindset will continue and that the weight will start coming off!

Exam studying is going okay, not great. I've had a lethargic type of day today (I didn't sleep enough last night, and I'm in this dark mood), but I have gone through all my lecture notes for my Tuesday exam and I also finished the reading (that I was meant to do months ago and didn't) for it. Just need to go over my notes on the other readings and think about possible questions that might come up and then I'm good to go!

Fears

So, like I said in one of my earlier posts, I'm (unfortunately) a very anxious person. (I have a feeling that this is going to turn into a "theme" post, as opposed to a diary type one.)

I'm fearful of a lot of things - I hate flying, I don't like change, I worry about things happening to people I love and sometimes I worry about totally irrational things. Anyway, I booked a flight home today, for the summer, and it made me anxious to even book the flight. For some reason I always have unhelpful thoughts about panes crashing/being attacked. I also hate making decisions, and with this kind of decision it seems like an even bigger deal, because what if I make the wrong decision and I'm on the plane where something does go wrong? I know its a ridiculous thing to worry about - planes are, after all, one of the safest forms of transport, but still...

Anyway, I am trying to do things to help me overcome my anxiety - little changes to my daily routine, as well as doing my coherence practice daily/as often as possible. I'm also reading through some ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) books, which are great. I'm not one of those people who can just stop thinking about things that are bothering me, and ACT gives me a way to deal with concerns and problems in my head and recognize them for what they are - random thoughts in my head that may or may not actually bear any resemblance to what's going on in reality.

Anyway, it's 2:30 in the morning now, so probably bed time for me!