Good Start to the Week

Today was a fun and somewhat productive day. I slept until 10:30 (so hard to get up when the boyfriend is still asleep!). I'm still finding that I'm oddly tired during the day, especially given how much I've been sleeping (maybe I'm sleeping too much?).

I went to lab for most of the day. I'm still stressed about the lab bench situation, but I'm just trying to make the most of it. I also started working on my thesis properly today - I realised that I'm going to have to average a page a day for the next 90ish days (until it's due - April 23rd!).

For lunch I had hummus on rye bread with sprouts (which was surprisingly good).

I've also watched loads of Friends today...I only started watching it at the beginning of January and I'm already half way through season 5 (argh! Talk about too much TV!). We also went out for chinese for dinner - not the healthiest, but it tasted good!

I also got one other piece of good news...my art grade: I got an A-!! (Which I really wasn't expecting, so I'm really pleased with that!). I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, but if I get an A in Econ (fingers crossed crossed crossed) I'll be at my year goal of getting my GPA up to 3.4. If I get an A-, I'll be at 3.39, which I will still be happy with. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, especially as I'm not sure how well the final went. An A- would also mean that I'd have one semester where I got all A's and A-'s. Anyway, that's enough on grades, I'm sure I'll be happy with whatever I get.

I'm going to spend the rest of the evening...

watching Friends

doing a few small tasks (getting off some emails mostly)

going back to lab and setting up a reaction that needs to run over night (not looking forward to that one so much!)

Anyway, that's all from me!

Summer Money Issues

I get paid ($450/week) for working in my lab over the summer. As you all know, I was hoping I'd be able to lead some tours as well, mostly for my own personal development. However, I've found out that I'm going to get paid for that as well, and there lies the problem... . I'm already working in my lab for forty hours, so any work I do outside that means that I'd be working overtime. The way it apparently works is that my lab and the tour guide people split the cost of the overtime. The tour guide people are happy with it, but my supervisor isn't and I feel a bit bad about it because he was there first as it were. Also, of course, my first priority this summer is to work in lab.

I'm not hugely concerned about the money/overtime, but still. My professor has offered to reduce my work-week in lab to 38 hours, but I don't really like that idea. Firstly, I think it makes it seem like I'm slacking off a bit (even though I'll actually be working for way more than 38 hours/week). Secondly, each tour is one hour and fifteen minutes, so that actually means that I'd only be able to do one tour and I'd be getting paid less overall (lab pays $11.25/hour apparently). Not a huge difference, but probably $100 or so over the summer.

I'm in touch with the tour guiding people trying to see if it's possible for me to do that on a volunteer basis or not be paid the overtime so fingers crossed for that! I'm just frustrated by this whole thing because it is my thing to sort out, but I feel like I'm hitting dead ends everywhere, I don't really care about getting paid for the tour guiding thing (obviously that would be nice, but that's not why I'm doing it and the pay isn't that incredible) and the whole getting paid aspect is appearing to add a lot of difficulty! Anyway, fingers crossed for being able to do the tour guiding thing on a volunteer basis!

New York and Grades

My mum was in NY today, so the boyfriend and I spent the day there and then met up with her for dinner, which was really nice. It was also great to get off campus - the boyfriend is so so much more relaxed and happy when we're not on campus.

With regards to grades...I'm still waiting for one of them, but so far I'm really pleased with them. I got a B+ in my lab work (which I'm pleased with as I didn't think I was going to do that well) and I got an A in Sociology, an A in my engineering class and an A in my Chemistry class. I am so super pleased with those results (and my GPA is looking much better as a result of them!). (I'm still wavering a bit about whether my A in Chemistry was fully deserved. I am so pleased with it, but I really wasn't expecting it. My entire grade in that class hinged on my final paper, which, due to the professor not wanting to set an exam, made up 100% of the grade. I did work hard on that paper, and I certainly understood my stuff for it, but it just seems like I worked much less hard for that class than my other classes. On the other hand, I guess compared to everyone else in that class I did work hard and learn and achieve a lot.)

I can't believe that a year ago I got B-,B-,B-,A-. It seems like I've come so far since then! I'm not sure if it's because I'm taking easier courses/am more settled into everything here or if it's because I'm getting better at school! To be honest, I think it's a combination of both, but it's certainly nice to see my hard work paying off.

I've talked about the academic support here before, but I really do think it's incredible. It completely helped me to turn my grades around (from averaging about a B to an A-). I think I said in an earlier post that the boyfriend and I are going to talk to the head of that program tomorrow in the hopes that they'll be able to help him a bit as well (despite the fact that he's gone before and didn't find them helpful). Fingers crossed for that...I'll let you know how it goes!

So, guess whose been terrible at updating the blog?

I promise a proper update soon, but I'm done!! So pleased about that, just a little worried about the grades...(there is good news on some fronts there though, which I'll share properly when I get a chance for a proper update).
I had to move out of my room which was incredibly stressful, but luckily my wonderful, incredible boyfriend helped me move everything!
The rest of this week is going to be some time off, followed by two weeks at home :).
I promise a proper update soon, and absolutely definitely before next Monday!

One down...two to go!

I had my sociology exam today. I'm glad it's over. To be honest, it didn't really feel that much like an exam. It was open notes and open book. and there was very little time pressure. I really really am hoping I did well on it - I really didn't like either of the essay questions though. Neither of them really made that much sense to me :S. Anyway, fingers crossed.

I had a review session for my next exam (engineering) straight after the sociology exam, so now I'm worrying a bit about that. I had another review session for history (with the TA, not Professor) and I'm super worried about that one. We have to write an essay covering from the 1600s to today in Urban planning in the US in 50 minutes! (Along with another 50 minute essay, a 20 minute essay and 12 "identifications" in an hour! Eek!).

I know it's really boring to hear about me studying but that's all I've been doing recently, and all I'll be doing tomorrow and the day after. Come Friday afternoon though, I'm free....to pack up all my belongings and put them in storage :(. On the plus side, the boyfriend and I are going to cook dinner together, which I'm looking forward to :).

Hmmm...

I'm still not feeling great, but...the good thing is that I know what's causing it. Before the beginning of this year (when I had my little epiphany about being able to change my life if I want to) I don't think I would have known the cause. Or at least I would have found it harder to accept the cause and the fact that this is just a temporary state of mind that will fade over the next month. When you know what's causing something (housing issues, exam stress, upset about the end of the school year), and you know that those things are going to pass it makes it a lot easier to deal with what's going on. (This is also partly something that ACT has taught me, thoughts are just thoughts, they don't (necessarily) mean anything and they will pass).

I've had an interesting few days with the whole food/losing 5 lbs thing. I've realised that I do actually have a lot more willpower than I thought I did and that I can say no to food. Whenever I wanted to eat something that's not good for me I ask myself how I'll feel about having eaten it in half an hour. Sometimes (a small piece of cake at dinner) I decide it's worth it it, other times (snacking on crisps) I decide it's not. Fingers crossed that this mindset will continue and that the weight will start coming off!

Exam studying is going okay, not great. I've had a lethargic type of day today (I didn't sleep enough last night, and I'm in this dark mood), but I have gone through all my lecture notes for my Tuesday exam and I also finished the reading (that I was meant to do months ago and didn't) for it. Just need to go over my notes on the other readings and think about possible questions that might come up and then I'm good to go!

Feeling a little bit better

After I posted that post yesterday I went for a run (with the boyfriend). It was a tough run - partly because I wasn't really in the mood for it, and partly because it was an outdoor run, which I don't normally do. I ran a little slower than usual (according to my gizmo). But, the good news is that I ran for 22 mins 30 seconds, which is even better than my goal for this month!

I also reflected on some of the good things that happened to me yesterday. Something I've been working on is getting less distracted when I'm studying. I have a really bad tendency to be studying and remember that I need to do something (send an email or something) and feel like it can't wait. One thing I did yesterday that seemed to work well was to put little sticky notes in my reading (randomly) that had little rewards on them (e.g. email, have a snack, facebook etc). It made it all a little more a game, which was good!


I still haven't lost any weight (130.8 lbs), which I'm a bit annoyed about. I know it takes time, but I've been feeling like I've been being really good, and usually weight comes off me pretty quickly. Anyway, I'm just trying not to get discouraged.

My skin is also getting a little dicey. Maybe its because of all the water (which is meant to clear your skin, but the skin will probably go through a bad period first, while it's clearing), the sunscreen (I'm not crazy about my current one, but I should be wearing it. And it is a resolution for this month. I think I'm going to give my skin a day off from it today...), stress, or me picking at it/touching it more. I'm going to try to be super nice to it today :)

Anyway, I should get some studying (Sociology) done!

Grades

This week and next week are finals week - I have three exams:
Sociology (May 17), Engineering (May 19) and History (May 20).
When I was in high school/senior school, work and exams didn't really
stress me out that much. I was only studying science, which I'm
relatively good at. I generally did well on exams and papers, and if
something was really important to me and I studied hard I could almost
always get a grade I was happy with.
Then I hit college...my first semester was particularly tough (not
just because of academics) and I wound up with some of my worst grades
- C+, B, B, B+. They're certainly not super awful, but I hadn't really
got C's before.... . Anyway, things got marginally better, and I was
averaging somewhere between a B/B+. Last Spring was an awful semester
for me though - I ended up with B-, B-, B-, A-, which didn't make my
GPA happy at all! I was also disappointed because I'd studied *really*
hard (like, done all the problems in the textbook kind of hard).
Last semester I decided to seek help for academics and study skills.
Grades and academic stress were also one of the things that prompted
me to go see the counsellor, as they were really getting me down/
depressed and badly affecting my self-worth (which I later learned/
realised should not be at all linked to grades). Anyway, my University
has pretty good academic support - they run workshops on various
academic skills (studying for finals, procrastination, effective
reading etc) and they also have (free) sessions where you can go talk
to a peer advisor about your study strategies. I was really lucky and
randomly was paired with someone who just seemed to understand where I
was coming from. Two of the most useful things he told me were:
1. Often there's a type of problem or concept underlying problems that
you don't understand. So, what's important is not to do all the
problems in the book and work out where you went wrong in each
individual one, but to work out the trend in where you seem to go
wrong in problems and focus on that.
2. Think of the exam as "point grabbing". Don't imagine starting from
100 and losing points for everything you get wrong. Instead, imagine
starting from 0 and gaining points for everything that you do get right.
I've also learned a lot more about smart studying - predicting exam
questions, tailoring my studying to the kind of questions asked on the
exam (I study different for a essay vs definitions now).
Last semester wound up being my best semester ever and I was really
pleased with my grades (I got my first ever A! And 3/5 of my grades
were A range (A, A-) grades).
I'm hoping that I can keep up the trend this semester. I'm pretty
nervous about my exams, but I'm trying to use all my study methods. At
the moment. I'm really just catching up on the reading I didn't get to
do during the semester though!
Does anyone have any other study tips or ways that they like to study?

General Life Update

Lab Paper
I'm done with the lab paper! Which is great, I'm pretty nervous about my grade on it though. A large part of the grade comes from how well your professor thinks you do in lab, and mine seems to think I'm never there (because I go at strange times when he's not there - he doesn't actually work in the lab).

Lent
I guess I never explained what I gave up for lent - I'm not really religious, but in the UK (or at least where I'm from in the UK) Lent is a pretty big cultural thing. For the last last three years (2009, 2010, 2011), the boyfriend and I have given up desserts and juice. This year we also gave up alcohol (not that we drink that much anyway). Anyway, Lent obviously ended a few weeks ago, and I've had a tough time not binging on sweets and licorice and dessert. The sad thing is that I don't really even enjoy them all that much, just because I never feel great after I've eaten a lot of sugar. Anyway, over the next few days I'm going to make a big effort with making more conscious, aware food choices. I'm hoping that that will help mindless eating of crummy food.


Exercise
Guess who still hasn't been to the gym this month? Or last month? Or probably the month before? Argh. I really need to get onto that and stop making excuses!


Nuvaring
Seems to be okay - I was feeling a little depressed over the weekend, and I don't know if that was because of the whole "other guy" thing or if it was the new hormones or if it was a combination of the new hormones and not taking my B6 (vitamin). The stupid thing is that its making me scared to engage physically with the boy, just because he was poking around a bit a few days ago and it hurt :(


Other Guy
So, during formals weekend one of my friends announced, in front of a few of our female friends and my boyfriend, "[Other guy] is especially nice to Jinx because he wants to f**k her". It was in the context of a conversation about how he's drifting out of our friendship group a bit, so it wasn't at all meant to be taken as "that's the only reason he's nice to you", more just that he had a huge thing for me, so he was nice to me and not other people. Anyway, the whole thing was just really awkward and threw me a lot. I am feeling a bit better after talking to one of my close friends at home though - other guy is wonderful, but we aren't compatible in the long term, unlike the current boyfriend and me!

Lab Paper

I'm not sure if it was clear, but the reason I spend so much time in lab is that I have a huge paper (due tomorrow!) on what I'm doing in lab. I'm going to be writing a thesis next year, so I have to do a "practice" thesis this year. It's much shorter than my actual thesis - at the moment my paper's looking like it'll be about 30 pages, including all my graphs and other data.

I went into lab for a little bit today to collect some final data. To be honest, it all seemed like a bit of a crisis, because my supervisor had promised to do something for me and hadn't, so I still don't have all the data I really need. I tried to stay calm - for the most part this kind of stuff ends up working out okay. And it did! Kind of...I can justify everything in my report (and not in my report), and I'm feeling a little better about it...tonight might be a long night though! I'll keep you updated on how it goes!

Quick Update

It's getting pretty late here, so just a quick update. (I also need to be up early tomorrow as I have a health appointment - more about that tomorrow).

Today was fine, boring. Glad to be done with class for this week (no Friday class!).

I weighed 129.0 lbs this morning, which I guess is a (minor) improvement.

The birthday dinner for my ex was fun - good to see all my friends!

Did almost no work today, which is bad. I have two huge papers due in about a week, and I'm not very far advanced on either of them!

I promise a more coherent post tomorrow!