In an earlier post I talked about my awful ex-roommate who had a serious jealous issue with me (and especially me dating the boyfriend). She was studying abroad this semester (in Australia, long long way away!) and it's been blissful. Seriously, it is SO nice to not have her around. She made sure that the boyfriend and I were excluded from everything, which was pretty awful. (She'd get included because she was "alone", people figured that if the boy and I weren't invited to dinner with everyone else, we at least had each other to eat with).
Because of her absence (and some of my own decisions) I've become a lot closer to my current friendship group this semester, which is really nice. I love N (the boy), but, unlike him, I do need some human contact outside our relationship. By "my own decisions" I mean that, well, N is not the most social of people. He works really really hard and generally doesn't want to go out or hang out with people (other than me) and just watch movies and goof off. Between him being like that and the b*tch ex-roommate I basically wasn't close to anyone but him (and my best friend here, whose in a totally different friendship group. She goes home every weekend though, and while she's incredible to talk to she doesn't do "girly" time-wasting type things, and she never parties).
Over the last few weeks I've got a lot closer to a few of the girls in this new friendship group. I've also tried to make it clear to them that I would actually (surprisingly!) like to be "friends" with the ex-roommate. I know we're never going to be close, and to be honest I don't even value her friendship that much at this point. But..I don't want to go back to being constantly excluded from things. If she's decent to me (ie not making snide comments whenever she's in my presence) I'm more than happy to be decent to her. I don't like arguing like this with people, and I don't think this all has a point. We're both just making each other pointlessly unhappy. I'm hoping that we have a strong enough bond at this point that the return of the b*tch ex-roommate won't pose too much of a problem...
Has anyone been in a similar situation to this? Or have any ideas for how to reduce the risk of being excluded next semester?
To be honest, I think you're doing everything in your power already to make sure you're not excluded; just keep being social, and occasionally make comments when you mention how nice it is to be able to hang out. Next term, be sure to reach out to the friends you're making, to make sure they know you still want to see them.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the support, Ali. I'll let you know how I get along next semester - fingers crossed!
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