Sunday, May 13, 2012

Don't dream it's over...

My life recently has been a bit boring (lots of work), but, some high and low lights....
  • I finished and handed in my thesis. It was amazing to have it finally be done, and I definitely feel proud of it.
  • I've picked up my cap and gown for graduation (eek!)
  • I've done everything I can to make the most of my last few weeks of college - gone to lots of lectures, taken a professor to lunch, made the most of various resources (I've borrowed a gazillion library books recently)
  • I finally found a roommate for law school (and she seems great. I've facebooked and skyped her, so hopefully there won't be any serious surprises, though I guess you never know)
  • I found housing for my summer internship 
  • I'm seeing a counsellor again (or at least was. She's at my university health services, so I won't be seeing her after I graduate). She's great (very into the whole idea of mindfulness, which seems like a good fit for me). Nothing serious happened, I just wanted to talk to someone about how to handle the huge changes that I'm on the verge of.
  • I graduate from college at the beginning of June. I'm just trying not to think about it.
  • I have to do comprehensive exams, which means that I need to re-learn all the Chemistry I've ever learned (urgh!)
  • My beloved dog lost his eyesight in one eye and is going to have to have it removed next week. We've thought about it a lot, and it's swollen and uncomfortable for him, so getting it removed seems like the best option.

My song for today is...Don't Dream It's Over, which has been covered by a bunch of different people but this versions by Sixpence None the Richer (a 90s band!).

For the first time in a week I did some proper exercise (urgh, I know. I'm not good at sticking to exercise regimes). I went running (with the boyfriend) along a towpath near our University. It was really really tough, in part because I'm out of shape and in part because he's (obviously!) so much faster than me. According to my HRM, my heart rate peaked at 201 bpm (argh! So high...I'm not sure if that's healthy). I did burn 650ish calories in 45 minutes though, which was pretty good. Anyway, that song played on my iPod while I was running and I thought it was pretty appropriate given all the changes in my life.

I like two lines in particular...
"Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup" - I've been told that this is about the fact that we can't control everything around us and that sometimes life throws random crazy stuff at us. 

"Hey now, hey now, don't dream its over" - This seems appropriate given that so much is changing, but some things, some of the most important things, aren't. In particular, my boyfriend. I know a lot of people are wondering if/when we're going to break up (and I'll admit that the idea has crossed my mind). Neither of us are long distance relationship types, and we'll be 2.5ish flying hours apart for three years. It's going to be tough, but we're going to make it work. I'm dreading it at the moment, but I know we'll be ok.

As I've mentioned before...I don't like change. But, one of the things I've realised during my counseling sessions is that I have a tendency to look at the past in a positive light and the future in a negative light. I've also realised that I'm much better at adapting to change than I think I'm going to be (though it's often tough at first). Even though not seeing the boy every day is going to be a change and I'm dreading it at the moment, I know it'll be ok when it happens and that we'll get through the next three years.


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